Red Water (2003) Review

Red Water (2003) Review

 

If you were to throw all the made-for-TV shark movies in a pile, what you would have is, to quote Dr. Malcolm from Jurassic Park, “one big pile of shit.” But, growing out of that shit pile would be a few well-fertilized little flowers—a scattering of TV shark movies that aren’t awful—and one of my picks is Red Water, which premiered on TBS in the early 2000’s and impressed very few viewers, but I saw it not long after I saw Jaws for the first time, and if it hadn’t been for the timing at which I saw it, I’d probably think it was just another clump in the pile.

No time is wasted in getting to what viewers came to see: a bull shark, one of the only sharks that live in both freshwater and saltwater, has swam up a Louisiana river, and it swiftly attacks some bathers. Even though that’s how things start, it’s just to hook you. This story isn’t really focused on the shark; its connection to the plot is more incidental. The real meat of this thing is an oil company has struck it rich in the river, and a couple employees need a boat ride up to the rig to check things out, so they hire John, who is having financial troubles, but the complicated bit is one of the employees he’s transporting is his ex-wife, Kelly. At the same time, a couple of thugs are diving for sunken treasure near the rig, and the two parties clash. Then when the shark swims up, the situation gets even more hostile.

The cast has some familiar faces from the B-movie genre, like Gideon Emery (Primeval) and Coolio (Pterodactyl). The latter of the two fills the role of token rapper and goes by the name Ice—and yes, several jokes are made in regards to his name. His character is also trigger happy and a complete moron, but adds some comedy relief, even if much of it is unintentional. The standout to me, though, is Lou Diamond Phillips in the lead role as John. I don’t care what anyone says, he’s a capable actor, likable guy, and manages to carry the weight of the movie from beginning to end. No one in the cast is truly awful, especially for a TV movie, and while the characters are nothing special, they still manage to sustain the runtime even when the shark isn’t on-screen.

As I said, the shark doesn’t play a big role throughout, but every scene it’s in is entertaining. You’d expect this to be a cgi hack job like every TV movie to feature a shark, but it’s actually a practical effect 90 % of the time. Of course, that just makes the few really bad cgi shots look even worse. The practical effects are acceptable, the shark actually looks like a real bull shark, and it makes a decent number of kills, though none of them are really unique, and most of its attacks are predictable. Being a TV movie, there’s no nudity and minimal cursing, but still a good amount of blood. To my surprise, it actually has an R-rating, though really features nothing to warrant more than a PG-13.

I am definitely minorly nostalgic for Red Water, but I still think it’s a decent shark movie. It has some similar vibes to Anaconda, despite lacking as much humour, and considering the low budget and TV station that made it, is pretty acceptable in overall quality. It’s miles ahead of anything SyFy puts out nowadays that features killer sharks, and while nothing significant stands out about it, for the time it came out, it’s a fairly entertaining story.  

Red Water is a far cry from Jaws, it’s not one of the other best shark movies, it isn’t great or even very good, but guess what? I still like it. It’s an amusing little movie, and that says a lot, even if it might not seem like it. For shark movie enthusiasts it’s a great Sunday afternoon watch with the right expectations, and in the realm of cheap TV shark movies, has to be one of the best of its kind.