Planet Terror (2007) Review (Favourite Films Series)

Tagline: Humanity's last hope... rests on a high power machine gun!

Planet Terror (2007) Review (Favourite Films Series)

 

The video store I went to as a kid/young teen often gave away free movie posters, and just because it was free, I took one for Grindhouse Presents: Planet Terror. It looked like a messed up movie: the main character featured front and center dressed like a stripper with a machine gun for a leg, some other creepy woman with bulging eyes and limp hands holding a syringe, a guy with blood splattered up the side of his head holding a gun, and Bruce Willis. I recalled the trailer playing on TV once or twice, but it didn’t really pique my interest. I just wasn’t old enough to appreciate this oddball, but a few years later I found a cheap copy of Planet Terror on DVD at Canadian Tire (random, I know) and I instantly fell in love with it. Upon recounting my all-time favourite films, I was as surprised as anyone to find it was actually worthy of inclusion. 

Planet Terror isn’t even the best Robert Rodriguez movie necessarily, but my favourite of his nonetheless. I liked his movies before I even knew I liked his movies. He came on the scene with El Mariachi but really left an impression with From Dusk till Dawn, his first collaboration with Quentin Tarantino, then went on to make three Spy Kids films (and later a fourth) and The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl. I really liked Spy Kids and Shark Boy and Lava Girl when I was a little kid, and when I later found out he was responsible for those and Planet Terror, I couldn’t believe it. Planet Terror is one half of R.R’s second collaboration with Q.T, collectively known as Grindhouse. These were tributes to the grungy, exploitative pieces of trash from the 1970’s that played in the sleazy Grindhouse theaters. I didn’t really get that when I first saw it, so the stylization and shocking content really threw me for a loop, and made a very strong first impression.

Given the poster features main character Cherry Darling with her machine gun leg, it’s easy to go into Planet Terror thinking you won’t be able to take any of it too seriously. The story is really nothing special: a government organization unleashes a gas that turns people into goopy, zit-pocked zombies, and Cherry is trying to get out of the small town she works in as a go-go dancer—not as a stripper, that’s a very important distinction she makes. She runs into El Wray, a mysterious old flame of hers, and together they face the impending doom of the undead taking over the town. They join forces with a collection of other characters, including the owner/operator of the best damn BBQ joint in Texas, J.T., his brother the Sheriff, and Dr. Dakota Block, an anesthesiologist trying to get away from her abusive husband.

There are a number of characters, and that’s a big part of what makes Planet Terror work so well: all of them are unique and great and well-cast. J.T. and his obsession with perfecting his secret sauce is the best, plus his rivalry with his brother about the recipe is more meaningful than you would expect. Even other little details, like Dr. Dakota’s son having a whole bunch of exotic pets, like a turtle and a tarantula. The kid was played by Robert Rodriguez’ actual son, and his character’s fate (which I won’t spoil, but you can probably guess it) was kept secret from him, to the point that they actually filmed alternate takes to keep him from finding out the truth. According to R.R, he might tell him one day when he’s older.

Rose McGowan plays Cherry, and with the exception of a few (Bruce Willis in a small role, Michael Beihn as the sheriff, Josh Brolin as the doc) most of the cast aren’t A-list actors, but it works better for the kind of movie it is. I couldn’t picture anyone other than Jeff Fahey playing J.T. In addition to the great all-around casting, all the dialogue is really good too, especially for a movie of this type. There are some lines that could have been throwaways, but I found a lot of them stuck with me. Even little things like Cherry’s boss telling her “It’s go-go, not cry-cry” come back around before the end.

Many of the quirkier aspects are my favourite parts of Planet Terror, but they might not appeal to everyone. Some of the things that happen don’t make a lot of sense, like the way some people turn into zombies and some don’t, and some become super disgusting in short amounts of time but others take a long time to become only a little gross. It doesn’t really matter, though, because it’s maximized for entertainment, not logic. One of my favourite quirky details is no one feels pain, apparently, because some characters are subjected to extreme mutilation, but don’t react the way you would expect. Even Cherry, for instance, has her entire leg torn off, but she never seems to be in pain from it, just mildly annoyed. It’s difficult to give examples that support my theory, but if you watch it with that little bit of headcanon in mind you’ll notice it for sure. On that note, the gore is extreme and the effects for it are excellent, all practically done and especially slimy.

Because it’s supposed to be like an old 1970’s film being shown at a crappy theater, there are many “broken film” effects to the actual picture and sound, which I had never seen done before. It isn’t overdone to the point of being a gimmick, it’s actually pretty cool and inventive and even comedic. The best example is when a sex scene starts, but there’s a missing film reel, then it jumps ahead and clearly a lot of bad things have happened in the meantime, because the BBQ joint is on fire and everyone is in a panic. Another contributing factor to the authenticity of Planet Terror is the music, composed by Robert Rodriguez himself (who, like John Carpenter, scores his own films—and Carpenter was originally considered for scoring this one before R.R. did it), with a very memorable theme that plays over the opening titles accompanying Cherry doing one of her dances. Even right from the beginning, she does a move that seems like nothing more than one of her “useless talents” but later helps her in the climactic finale. There are numerous set ups and payoffs, all of which are effective, and the whole thing is paced very well. Because it was a double feature, it’s pretty short, but that resulted in a streamlined piece of exploitative entertainment that lacks any BS.

Grindhouse may have been released as a double feature, but both movies are their own thing. I saw Death Proof a while later, after Planet Terror had solidified in my mind as something great, and I was very let down by Tarantino’s unconventional slasher story in comparison. I’ve since come to appreciate it as its own thing, but even to compare, Planet Terror is significantly more entertaining and endlessly re-watchable. One last thing worth noting is the fake trailer at the beginning for Machete, which sets the tone for Planet Terror despite being unrelated, and it ended up being a real movie a few years later, too. Even though there were other fake trailers made for the theatrical release of Grindhouse, Machete is the only one retained for the home video editions of Planet Terror, because it’s just that good.

Planet Terror came along at just the right time in my life to become one of my favourite movies, but looking at it now, I don’t know if I would consider it in such high regard had I seen it later in life, or after having seen other comparably great gory movies of the same nature like Braindead or Evil Dead. If you haven’t seen it and like ridiculous movies with unexpectedly well-written characters, dialogue, and inventive moments, you really need to, and watch it with a group if possible.