ALIEN MOVIES RANKED

 

ALIEN MOVIES RANKED

 

When the latest entry in the Predator franchise, Prey, was released direct-to-streaming a couple years ago, I ranked all of the previous Predator movies. Now, the newest entry in the Alien franchise, Alien: Romulus, is soon hitting theatres (I know it’s been two years, but I still haven’t gotten over the fact that Prey did not get a theatrical release!), so it’s finally time for me to give the Alien franchise the same treatment. I reviewed all of them back in my October 2018 Sequel-a-Thon; like with “Predator Movies Ranked,” I’ll focus on how they stack up against one another and avoid repeating myself. Finally, I’ll do something I normally don’t do: give each movie a rating out of five!

Since I’ll be going through them as if you, the reader, are familiar with them, I’m going to include my links up front for my Alien reviews (as well as other related Alien and Predator content) in case you aren’t already acquainted with them, or need some refreshers.

Alien : Covenant Review : http ://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2018/10/alien-covenant-2017-re-review.html

Prometheus Review: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2018/10/prometheus-2012-review.html

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem Review: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2018/10/aliens-vs-predator-requiem-2007-review.html

Alien vs. Predator Review: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2018/10/alien-vs-predator-2004-review.html

Alien Resurrection Review: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2018/10/alien-resurrection-1997-review.html

Alien 3 Review: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2018/10/alien-3-1992-review.html

Aliens : Favourite Films Series : http ://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2017/04/alien-1979-favourite-films-series.html

Alien : Favourite Films Series : http ://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2017/04/aliens-1986-favourite-films-series.html

Alien vs. Aliens: Movie vs. Movie Issue #7: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2017/05/alien-1979-vs-aliens-1986-movie-vs.html

Predator Movies Ranked: http://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2022/08/predator-movies-ranked.html

 

 

8. Alien: Covenant (2017)

When I first saw Alien: Covenant, it seemed to be an improvement over earlier sequels, but then I saw it again…and started to think about it a bit…and realized it not only failed to live up to any of the previous Alien films, it also failed to satisfy as an origin story for the xenomorph, as a sequel to Prometheus, as a setup for a follow-up, and, worst of all, as a scary or thrilling standalone film. Even though Prometheus is famously remembered as dividing fans, I think Covenant divided fans even more. Some love it and think it's superior to Prometheus and it’s one of the best Alien movies of all. Some dislike it but still find it an improvement over earlier sequels despite a lack of new ideas. Some absolutely despise it and think it’s even worse than the AVP movies. While I wouldn’t use the word “despise,” I think “disappointment” is most apt for me. I expected more from Ridley Scott, especially after making such a big deal about returning to the Alien franchise with Prometheus and being so intent on telling an elaborate origin story for the many ambiguous elements of the original Alien, but Covenant just ended up being an all-around letdown.

I give Alien: Covenant one rotten ovomorph (egg) out of five.

7. Alien 3 (1992)

Unlike Covenant, which skated by on enough positive-to-middling reviews to be mostly forgotten in recent years, Alien 3 has been long remembered as one of the worst Alien sequels. It had the unenviable position of being the first badly reviewed sequel, following up only one other sequel, but contemporary fans look back on 3 a little less harshly than they used to. Now, Alien 3 doesn’t seem as bad in the context of the whole franchise, but it’s also strange because it ended up being a bit of a false ending for main character Ripley. Knowing the backstory about the troubled development and pressures put on the production by the studio and the attempted exploits of first-time director David Fincher, it’s actually amazing Alien 3 didn’t turn out worse, but whether we’re talking about the original theatrical version or the 2003 assembly cut, it’s still not a very good premise. The acting is good and some of the visuals are intriguing, but for all the effort put in to not repeat what was done in Alien and Aliens, it doesn’t do anything that interesting with the creature. It’s not very scary, not very action-packed, and not very clever, but again, it’s not the worst sequel.

I’ll give Alien 3 two facehuggers out of five—the same number of facehuggers that stowed aboard the Sulaco escape pod.

6. Alien Resurrection (1997)

As a kid, I liked this one more than 3 because it captured more of the vibes from Aliens and had a greater number of creatures; not only the traditional xenomorphs but a Queen and the bizarre “Newborn” creature, as well. I also gave little thought to the idea that Ripley was now a clone. As a lifelong Jurassic Park fan, I was content with knowing she was a copy, but I didn’t really grasp that she wasn’t the exact same character as the previous three films. I got that she had some alien DNA in her which gave her superpowers (and I’m sorry but honestly that’s a far more interesting idea than anything from Alien 3), but it’s not really a continuation of her story, it’s a continuation of the themes of corporate greed with the creature getting exploited and the attempted control over them blowing up in the faces of those trying to do so. Looking back at the film now, it’s scattered in its efforts to keep the concept fresh while redoing many elements of the previous three films, and it may be more entertaining than Alien 3 on a surface level, but it lacks much depth. What puts it a notch above 3, for me, is the better grouping of supporting characters.

I’m giving Alien Resurrection two swimming xenomorphs out of five.

5. Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

When I ranked the Predator movies, I ranked this one above the first AVP for the simple reason that it’s a better Predator movie, and the first AVP is the better Alien movie, but they’re on a pretty even playing field as B-movie monster mashups. I actually prefer the look and design of the xenomorphs in this one over the first AVP, with the aesthetic adhering closer to how they looked in Aliens, and the new Predalien is fearsome. Unfortunately, there are some shots where its quite obviously guys in monster suits because of the way they are poorly shot, but that’s only when the movie isn’t bathed in total darkness, and we can’t see the aliens at all. There are few memorable moments with the old school aliens, and it clashes with the established canon of the solo Alien movies (as both AVP movies do), but they did have the balls to put a facehugger on a child—and show the chestburster explode out of him!

I’ll give AVP: Requiem a generous two and-a-half throat-implanted Predalien eggs out of five!

4. Alien vs. Predator (2004)

It’s pretty clear writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson was a bigger fan of the Alien franchise than the Predator franchise. Even in behind-the-scenes featurettes he talks little about Predator but goes on about how great Sigourney Weaver was and how Alien was so influential to him. That being said, having a fan direct this first crossover did result in some very cool moments with the classic creatures. Pacing-wise, it’s the antithesis of the original Alien, with facehuggers leaping out of eggs instantaneously and chestbursters exploding out of victims mere moments later, it seems. The PG-13 rating hampered the violence when it came to aliens vs. humans, but there is no shortage of acid blood spraying all over the place. The practical effects from Amalgamated Dynamics are even more impressive than their work in Alien 3 and Resurrection, and the highlight is the return of the Queen, who deals even more damage than she did in Aliens—but, all of it is in service of a convoluted plot and dull human characters, so it may be more entertaining for what it is and what it’s trying to be compared to Covenant, 3, and Resurrection, but it’s still a highly flawed B-movie, and that’s being generous.

Mainly due to nostalgia, I’m giving Alien vs. Predator three predators killed by xenomorphs out of five.

3. Prometheus

Ah yes, the Alien movie that isn’t an Alien movie, but also is one. It’s paradoxical in the way it teases connections to the original and tries to be a story about the engineers—that mysterious race of extraterrestrials who had something to do with the derelict ship in the first and second films—while also transposing the Alien story formula into a sci-fi-adventure-thriller, and still falling back on the creature terror by the end. Even though it’s not exactly a satisfying prequel, I still enjoy Prometheus as something strangely far flung from the original thanks to the interesting cast, impressive visual design, and inventive new monsters that worm their way into the plot. It may not feature the xenomorph proper at any point, but Prometheus is definitely still an Alien film, with big ideas thrust into a comparatively less simple story—ideas that don’t always work or even have any payoff at all (with or without Covenant). It beats out the AVP movies because the characters are a cut above any of the victims from those ones, and it doesn’t feel like it’s trying and failing to outdo either the original or Aliens because it’s such a different kind of beast.

I will give Prometheus three and-a-half drops of black goo out of five!

2. Alien (1979)

Ranking the sequels and prequels is fun, but everyone always wants to know this answer: which one do you like more, Alien, or Aliens? It’s such a tough question. As a kid, Aliens had Alien beat, easy. As an adult, I go back and forth. Ultimately, though, what I admire most about Alien is how simple it is, and yet how incredibly well executed it is, too. The biggest moments are truly shocking, and yet familiar to anyone entrenched in science fiction. The characters are everyday people who happen to work on a spaceship, but the actors make them all feel like real everyday people who react in a believable manner to this otherworldly horror, and it’s also thanks to the improvisational style in which many of the dialogue scenes play out that such realism is achieved. Everything from the music to the special effects to the cinematography is so sublime that to say Alien is a lesser movie than Aliens is disrespectful. It’s a different kind of movie, about the same main character (though Ripley isn’t easily identifiable as the primary protagonist for nearly half the runtime) and the same extraterrestrial threat, but it just has not aged quite as well as Aliens.

Obviously, Alien gets five out of five. Let’s make it the first five humans to ever be killed by the xenomorph in a film. R.I.P Kane, Brett, Dallas, Parker, and Lambert.

1. Aliens (1986)

Why am I saying Aliens is my favourite, even over Alien, which I unabashedly love? It comes down to the story and the characters. Alien is like a haunted house in space, but you can’t escape the house, which is a very scary concept. The chestburster that results from the disgusting, violating facehugger is one of the scariest moments in all of cinema. But, every bit of praise I have given Alien is all part of a film that, on the grand scale, is not as original as it might seem. As I’ve watched more and more older sci-fi/horror flicks, Alien, which I once thought of as something completely unique and the first of its kind, becomes less and less original to me, beyond those key elements (the creature, the characters, the production design), and seems more clearly derivative of other similar sci-fi/horror elements from older films that just haven’t aged as well. That is not to say Alien gets worse with time, though.  

Aliens, on the other hand, is in many ways Alien all over again, only with a greater number of the creatures in an action movie setting. That being said, writer/director James Cameron didn’t just make Aliens the kind of sequel that retreads the same story as the original. Aliens is about Ripley going back to the source of her unending nightmare in an attempt to resolve it, with a bigger cast of characters who are all excellent in their own ways. Then, there’s the finale with the Queen alien, which has higher emotional stakes than Alien’s finale because we care more about Ripley this time, and on a technical level, everything is better, too. Finally, when fans argue that Alien is scarier, I cite the scenes with the facehuggers trying to get Ripley and Newt in the locked room and the Queen stomping around pulling up floor grates as Newt crawls around beneath trying to get away. These scenes rival anything as scary in the original as being even scarier. No, it’s not as shocking of a film, but it doesn’t try to be and fail, it finds new ways to be shocking while still functioning as a worthwhile continuation of Alien, which (and this might sound nuts coming from me) really didn’t even need a sequel in the first place, but the potential was too great to pass up, and for all the sequels and prequels that have come since, none have come close to matching it.

Aliens also gets five out of five. I’ll go with five Stan Winston redesigned xenomorphs out of five.  

I’m glad I’ve finally laid this debate to rest—at least until Alien: Romulus comes out. In the famous words of Bill Paxton’s Private Hudson, “That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over!”