Top Ten Worst Stephen King Movies: C.C.C Issue #58

Top Ten Worst Stephen King Movies: C.C.C Issue #58

As I said in my previous list, I thought I’d narrow down my personal top ten and bottom ten Stephen King films. And, once again, this is just my opinion, it’s by no means a definitive top/bottom ten.

Dishonourable mention: The Lawnmower Man: Like Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, it’s not really a Stephen King movie, but it uses the title from a short story he wrote, despite having nothing to do it. It’s still a bad movie.

10. Needful Things

While not a complete blowout, Needful Things is pretty forgettable in the long list of King adaptations, with a goofy premise and uneven balance of scares and silliness. 

9. Children of the Corn

This one I think might rank in the top ten list for older viewers who saw it in the 80’s, and it does have merit, but for me, I just either laughed at the absurdity or was bored. 

8. Riding the Bullet

 

Despite incorporating story elements from all the best Stephen King stories, this movie has no idea what it wants to be. It’s scary sometimes and succeeds, tries to be scary and fails, tries to be funny and succeeds, tries to be both and fails, but worst of all, the movie didn’t achieve its full potential. It could’ve been great had it found a clearer focus.   

7. Sleepwalkers

Another movie from the director of Riding the Bullet (Mick Garris), Sleepwalkers is forgettable except for a couple things. My main issue is it’s almost a horror-comedy, and yet fails to be horrific or comedic. Again, had potential, but didn’t satisfy. 

6. Maximum Overdrive

Stephen King’s sole directing effort had hilarious results—which parts of the movie were meant to be hilarious, I'm not exactly clear on—but aside from some parts being so-bad-they’re-good, it’s mostly dull. 

5. Graveyard Shift

Of all the movies on this list, I found Graveyard Shift the most frustrating. Unlikable characters, an unsatisfying monster, next to no scares, and mediocre in general.  

4. Sometimes They Come Back

This one has many of the same problems as Graveyard Shift, in addition to feeling censored because it was made-for-TV, and generic because it recycles many Stephen King story elements from better adaptations. 

  

3. Cell

On a technical level, Cell is probably the worst Stephen King movie ever made, but I still was somewhat entertained at points by how bad it was, so it’s not the worst.

2. Thinner

Unlike Cell, Thinner does not offer any entertainment, despite its poor execution. Everything about it is bad. 

1. Dolan’s Cadillac

Hands down the worst Stephen King adaptation I’ve seen. With absolutely no redeeming qualities, it’s a pathetic attempt at stretching the source material to a feature-length film. Avoid at all costs. 

Top Ten Best Stephen King Movies: C.C.C Issue #57

Top Ten Best Stephen King Movies: C.C.C Issue #57

Hard to believe it’s over halfway through the month of November already! This abysmal year of movies has been improving in the last few weeks, with another certified hit from Marvel, Doctor Strange, and a new greatest alien invasion film, Arrival, and we’re getting closer to Rogue One, surely the most-anticipated movie of the year. 

And yet, I’m still talking about Stephen King. 

I covered many Stephen King movies and TV mini-series back in October, but there are still enough left that I could do an entire second (possibly third) month of reviews. Perhaps I will one day, but I’m getting ahead of myself. 

With so many movies covered over so many decades, I thought I’d narrow down my personal top ten and bottom ten. This is just my opinion, and as I said, I didn’t review a lot of them, so this is by no means a definitive top/bottom ten. 

Honourable Mention: Tales from the Darkside: The Movie. Not really a 100 % Stephen King movie, since only one of the three stories is based on his writing, but still a great horror anthology. 

10. 1408

This psychological thriller really surprised me. I didn’t expect much, but it proved to be a well-acted, well-paced story full of twists. Perhaps it could be kicked out my top ten as I see more King films, but for now, it just managed to get in there. 

9. Creepshow

This anthology team-up of Stephen King and George Romero was a big success, and while not one of my top favourites, it still deserves a spot in this top ten. The stories all have merit and can stand on their own, and it mixes humour with horror, paying tribute to the EC Comics of King and Romero’s youth. 

8. Cujo

 

One of the best killer animal films and an 80’s cult classic, Cujo is among King’s scariest creations, because he’s like the shark in Jaws: he could be real (but of course is exaggerated for dramatic purposes). While not great in its first act, its second and third acts are incredibly intense, and the lead performance by Dee Wallace is excellent.   

7. Pet Sematary

Another one about good pets gone bad, only with a supernatural element and even more fright. Pet Sematary has plenty of scary scenes, and though far from perfect, is highly entertaining and memorable. 

6. The Green Mile

This epic prison drama based on King’s serialized novel of the same name was director Frank Darabont’s follow-up to his critical hit The Shawshank Redemption (more on that one soon) and while not as good as the aforementioned masterpiece, The Green Mile is still a moving film with pitch-perfect casting and great direction.  

5. Carrie

It’s crazy how the original Carrie is one of the all-time best Stephen King adaptations, and yet it’s still only at number five. It holds up incredibly well, but maybe not quite as well as the top four. 

4. The Shining

This movie keeps getting better every time I see it. While not a faithful adaptation of the novel, it stands on its own as a truly creepy film from the late great Stanley Kubrick.

3. Stand by Me

Last month, I didn’t review this Rob Reiner-directed coming-of-age film based on King’s short story The Body, because it’s not a horror film, but it is an incredible film nonetheless, with excellent acting from its three young leads and the ability to make viewers experience a range of emotions—happiness, sadness, fear—and is a must-see.  

2. Misery 

 

The best horror film based on the works of Stephen King, and my personal second-favourite of all. It’s tense from beginning to end, and highly re-watchable despite its straightforward premise. Incredible acting, direction, and a faithful adaptation of the novel. 

1. The Shawshank Redemption

Hands down, the best film based on anything Stephen King has ever written. It’s not just the best Stephen King film, it’s one of the best films of all-time, which is kind of funny, because it’s not even in the genre he’s best known for. This prison drama has legendary acting from Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman, and tells a timeless story that everyone should see at some point.