C.C.C. Issue #28: Top Ten Family Guy Episodes

Top Ten Family Guy Episodes

With Seth MacFarlane bringing his brand of humour back to the big screen with A Million Ways to Die in the West this weekend, I’m counting down the ten best episodes of the show created by MacFarlane which launched him to celebrity status. It’s brash, it’s rude, it’s everything that makes us laugh and cry, it’s Family Guy! Featuring the unusual Griffin family, consisting of alcoholic fat man Peter, loving wife Lois, anthropomorphic dog Brian, socially awkward teen Chris, evil genius baby Stewie, and Meg, Family Guy has had some crazy and hilarious episodes in its 231 episode run (and counting!)

Because I don’t watch the show as consistently any more, many of my favourite episodes are from earlier seasons, so I may miss some of the newer ones that have been considered good, but I still stand by the opinion that the show ceased to be as funny after about season 8.

10. “Death Has a shadow”, season 1 episode 1

The pilot episode for the series and the first episode ever to air on TV, “Death Has a Shadow” still remains one of the best of all time. We get a hilarious first look at the dysfunctional family, including Stewie’s diabolical obsession for world domination and killing his mother and Peter’s alcoholic tendencies. Peter attends a stag party, where he hangs out with Glenn Quagmire and plays “Drink the beer”, leading to a severe hangover the next day which puts his job in jeopardy after he fails to eliminate dangerous toys from the toy line at his job at, you guessed it, the toy factory. It has all the hallmarks that would make Family Guy a hit in the episodes to come, such as several hilarious cutaway gags and even the premiere appearance of The Kool Aid Man, who would return for cameos in future episodes. Although not as hilarious throughout as the other episodes on this list, I still really enjoy the pilot episode and still think it was a successful start for the long running series.

9. “Fox-y Lady”, season 7 episode 10 

The central plot event for this episode isn’t what makes it so hilarious, though it does offer some amusement. Lois gets a job at FOX news as a reporter, even though Brian warns against it for their methods of obtaining news and getting it to the public. She investigates allegations that filmmaker Michael Moore is gay, which isn’t really funny or great, but what Peter and Chris do is hilarious. Now that they have a foot in the door with FOX thanks to Lois’ position, Peter proposes they create a cartoon series. After brainstorming and developing ideas and constantly disregarding Meg’s input, they come up with Handi-Quacks: a show about three physically handicapped ducks, all drawn with crayons and voiced by neighbours Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland. The brief pilot episode shown is absurdly hilarious, but when FOX CEO Peter Chernin reacts positively with only minor suggestions, Peter decides not to pursue the show for pretty much no reason, which is even funnier.

8. “Stew Roids”, season 7 episode 13

Season seven was actually one of the best seasons of Family Guy, as is evident because two other episodes from that season, of the 200+ total episodes for the series, appear on this list. In this episode which I’m sure stirred more than a few controversies (I can think of dozens of episodes that would do so more severely than even this one), Stewie gets beat up at a family barbeque, so Peter tries to get him fit, but instead of doing it the right way, he does it the easy way by giving baby Stewie injections of steroids. Of course Stewie gets pumped (“You look like Lou Ferrigno’s poop”, says a dismayed Brian) and becomes badass. The funniest moment is when he won’t let Brian walk past him on the stairs, and the joke is taken in typical Family Guy fashion: as far as it can be taken. I still crack up even after having seen it half a dozen times. When Stewie loses the muscle, he’s left with thick flaps of skin, which allow him to fly to safety and make a reference to Rocky & Bullwinkle. The other part of the episode, which follows Chris going out with popular high school girl Connie D’Amico, isn’t as funny, but strongman Stewie more than makes the episode memorable and gut busting. 

7. “Back to the Pilot”, season 10 episode 5

This episode was well received by critics, and in my opinion, it’s the funniest episode of the most recent three seasons. When Brian wishes he could find out where he buried a tennis ball, Stewie takes them back to the day he lost it, which just so happened to be the premiere day of the pilot episode (January 31^st, 1999). From here, the insanity and hilarity ensue, as the present day Stewie and Brian are forced to clash with their retro counterparts after Brian averts the 9/11 disaster from happening. Much like other science-themed episodes involving Stewie, Brian, and Stewie’s time machine, this one gets points for making the most of a creative and original plot and being extremely funny because of it. Their presence in the past starts changing things. The best change of all is when they talk to The Kool Aid Man, making him miss his queue to jump through the wall during the courtroom scene. He does it late, making it even more awkward and causing him to slip and fall and smash into pieces. They also affect the future, which proves to be equally as funny. With a joke a minute and an unexpectedly clever premise, this has to be one of the most original episodes of any cartoon in recent years.

6. “Family Guy viewer mail #1”, season 3 episode 21

Believe it or not, this was the final episode to air before Family Guy was cancelled the first time, and it didn’t return for close to three years. I say believe it or not because this particular episode features an inventive concept to show three short stories, none of them related, but all of them suggested by fans. The first shows what would happen if Peter got three wishes from a genie (which comes out of his beer). After finding out what Kelly Ripa is like off-camera and gaining his own theme music for everyday life, a man on a bus gets upset with him and prepares to break every bone in his body. Peter wishes he had no bones, and the tragic yet comedic events go from there. The second story shows what would happen if the Griffin family gained superpowers from nuclear waste. This offers tons of jokes, from Brian getting super speed, Peter getting shape shifting abilities, and Meg growing her fingernails longer. The episode ends with Mayor Adam West rolling in radioactive sludge to gain his own powers, but instead just gets lymphoma. The final story follows the antics of the “Lil’ Griffins”, and though it’s the weakest of the three parts, is still very funny. There’s a lot going on in this episode, which makes for consistent laughs and interesting takes on the characters. 

5. “I Dream of Jesus”, season 7 episode 2

Here’s one more episode from season 7; this one most memorable for featuring “Surfin’ Bird” by The Trashmen, Peter’s self proclaimed “favourite song of all time!” When he obtains the record from a retro diner, he continues to play it over, and over, and over, and over, and each time he does it gets funnier and funnier. Eventually Brian and Stewie steal it from him and destroy it in a slow motion scene that parodies Office Space. When Peter goes looking for a new copy of “Surfin’ Bird”, he discovers Jesus working at a record store. This aspect of the episode isn’t as funny or entertaining, but there are still several laugh-out-loud moments featuring Jesus and his powers, such as turning everyone’s dinners into sundaes and increasing the size of Lois’ breasts (which makes Brian’s jaw drop in exaggerated cartoon fashion). It’s a bit of an uneven episode, but “Surfin’ Bird” makes it a laugh riot unlike any other.

4. “Da Boom”, season 2 episode 3

This post apocalyptic episode aired less than a week before Y2K, and follows the Griffin family after the world goes to ruins in a nuclear holocaust occurring at the turn of the century. It’s chocked full of great jokes and gags, and is notable for being the first one to feature the now classic (and much repeated) fight between Peter and the Giant Chicken. Some of the most memorable moments include Peter consuming all the dehydrated food, drinking water, inflating to the size of the room, and then telling everyone to leave because he has to poop, Cleveland and Quagmire becoming fused together, the family running into Randy Newman who just sings about everything he sees, Stewie mutating into a half octopus, and lots more. The Griffins find refuge at a Twinkie factory in Natick, Massachusetts, where they establish New Quahog and try to rebuild society. Of course it doesn’t go exactly as planned. The end of the episode is a spoof of the TV show Dallas, something which confused me for years before I found out about what that show even was. When it first premiered, this episode was unlike any previous Family Guy episode, and it’s still one of the funniest and most unique to date.

3. “Petarded”, season 4 episode 6

Showcasing Peter’s lack of mental capacity better than ever, “Petarded” is consistently funny throughout, but features several moments that are particularly side splitting. The Griffins host game night at their house and play Trivial Pursuit. To make Peter think he’s good at the game, Lois uses questions from the pre-school edition, which still prove challenging for Peter. When asked what colour a fire truck is, he tries to think back to a documentary he saw about fire trucks on National Geographic. The cutaway that follows made me laugh so hard it probably bruised my spleen. A “wild fire truck” stalks a gazelle, kills it by beating it with its ladder, and then defends its kill from wild ambulances, which will have to wait until the fire truck has eaten its fill. It’s absurd and severely comical. Other great moments follow as Peter is deemed mentally retarded and believes he can get away with anything because of his condition. Including driving a bulldozer through their living room and starting a bible fight in church, Peter delivers signature over the top physical comedy while also offering a couple good cutaways, pop culture references, and pretty much everything else we’ve come to expect from the fat man.

2. “Road to the Multiverse”, season 8 episode 1

There’s so much to laugh at in this episode, it literally is a laugh a minute. Stewie reveals to Brian that he has created a device which allows for travel to other universes. Brian and Stewie go on an outrageous and hilarious adventure through all sorts of parallel worlds. There are some that aren’t too dissimilar from the usual, such as the universe where everyone has two heads, one sad and one happy, and the universe where “...everyone has to take a poop right just now...”, but then there are others that are wildly different, including the robot chicken universe rendered in stop motion animation, the Disney universe with Disney-style animation and glee oozing out of every frame, and the freakiest (and possibly funniest) of all : the one where Brian and Stewie portrayed by a real baby and dog. The second half of the episode follows Brian and Stewie trying to escape a universe where humans are pets to dogs, which allows viewers to see more than just a few aspects of this parallel world and what the characters are like here. Definitely the funniest “Road to...” episode of all, this one makes the most of its clever plot.

1. “Let’s Go to the Hop”, season 2 episode 14

This is my personal favourite episode for a few reasons. First off, it has every Family Guy trademark. There are some great cutaway gags, there’s a clever musical sequence, lots of pop culture references, and many other elements common throughout all the other episodes I’ve examined. The musical sequence in particular is not only well done, it’s actually catchy, memorable, and not overbearing or annoying like many Family Guy musical moments tend to be. The plot is, though not significantly original, quite well crafted and even delivers a good message for younger viewers. An outbreak of Toad, a new drug, is sweeping the local High School which Chris and Meg attend, so Peter goes undercover in a very 21 Jump Street-esque role to eliminate the drugs and restore the school to a safer environment for his kids and the other students.  The end of the episode is more a tribute than reference to the end of The Breakfast Club, and It’s also the first episode to show Spider-Man save Peter with his web and claim, “Everybody gets one.” “Let’s Go to the Hop” is the Family Guy episode that stands out to me the most.

C.C.C. Issue #27: Top Ten Superhero Films

Top Ten Superhero Films

With the uncanny X-Men returning to theaters this weekend in X-Men: Days of Future Past—their biggest film to date—I’m counting down ten of my favourite superhero movies of all time. Instead of simply picking a bunch of Marvel movies, I’m looking at a wider range of super-powered adventures, though there were many good ones I had to leave out.

Criteria: Must feature character(s) in the main role(s) saving either the world, humanity, or certain individuals from evil

Honourable Mentions: Superman (1978), Chronicle (2010), Spider-Man (2002), X2: X-Men United (2003), and V for Vendetta (2005)

10. X-Men (2000)

A lot of critics and filmgoers—fans and non-fans alike—seem to favour the X-Men sequel X2: X-Men United as being slightly better than the first film. While I must agree that it’s one of the best superhero sequels ever, I still prefer the original X-Men, which was the one that started it all. Back in 2000, it was a major advancement in terms of how huge superhero movies could be. Not all of the special effects hold up to today’s standards, but for the time X-Men had incredible visuals. What I like better about it over X2 is the quicker pacing and greater number of scenes with Professor X (played by Sir Patrick Stewart). While X2 did add depth to the characters and tell a grander story, X-Men succeeded in establishing the X-Men film universe and proved to be an exciting, fun, and groundbreaking superhero film, which reignited an interest in the sub-genre and set the bar for how a superhero film was done.

9. Watchmen (2009)

This Zack Snyder-directed epic, based on the sweeping graphic novel, has been seen in two ways by critics and fans alike: either as a masterpiece, or a piece of crap. My opinion falls somewhere in the middle, but more toward the positive side. Having never read the graphic novel, I can’t say how accurate or inaccurate the film is compared to the source material, but that aspect also doesn’t influence my opinion. Watchmen is unlike any other superhero movie I’ve seen. It combines characters without superpowers and characters with powers, gritty Batman-style vigilantism with Marvel beat-em-up action, but most of all it tells a compelling and intricate narrative rich with back-story and complex characters. It may get a little derivative at times, and the movie’s length proves a test of endurance even for a hardened superhero film fan like me, but the effects and visual style are the real highlight here. It’s not perfect, but compared to other superhero films, it’s unique, mature, and very ambitious.

8. The Crow (1994)

This cult classic is often overlooked compared to other larger scale superhero films, but The Crow is a great gothic, supernatural comic book tale about revenge and resurrection. It’s infamous for being actor Brandon Lee’s final film, who was accidently shot and killed on set during filming. It was a tragic loss, especially considered how brilliant Lee was in the role of Eric Draven, a rocker who gets killed by thugs and comes back to avenge the death of his girlfriend. There isn’t a huge amount of action, and cgi effects were still in their infancy here, but Lee’s performance drives the film, and the haunting atmosphere makes it all the more eerie. It’s dark, but it also has some light moments, which makes for a nice balance. Even looking at the film without knowing the tragedy of Brandon Lee’s death, it’s an impressive superhero tale, and a fine piece of entertainment.

7. Batman (1989)

There will always be a place for Adam West and Burt Ward’s campy sixties classic, but Tim Burton’s brooding Batman was the first serious take on the character filmgoers had seen, and it still remains a favourite to this day. Michael Keaton surprised everyone with his turn as Bruce Wayne/Batman, having been previously known as a comedic actor. Jack Nicholson as The Joker is even more impressive, with his unnerving balance of mischief and mayhem. Though some comic book fans were dismayed by alterations made to the story, I actually enjoyed liberties taken with the plot, especially having The Joker be the one who killed Bruce Wayne’s parents when he was a boy. Tim Burton absolutely nailed the look of the film, and made Gotham feel like the city was ripped right from the comic pages. The musical score by Danny Elfman is also brilliant. It perfectly complements the combination of action and drama. It may feel like more style than substance at times (a problem I detect with many Tim Burton films), but Batman was a great film then, and it’s still a great film now.

6. Hellboy (2004)/Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

I can’t really pick one Hellboy over the other, because I think they’re both excellent. The visual effects are every bit as great the second time around, as are the characters, the plot, and practically everything else. The one thing I could say that’s better about Hellboy II is that the obligatory character introductions from the first film were over with, and the sequel was able to hone in on the new story faster and easier. Having said that, I enjoyed the story behind the first Hellboy, and not knowing much about the character prior to seeing the movie, I was surprised and excited to learn about this unusual superhero. Hellboy, a red skinned brute with a big ass pistol and wicked right hook, fights against supernatural and super powered enemies alongside his knowledgeable pal Abe Sapien and on-again-off-again pyrotechnic girlfriend Liz Sherman. There are numerous interesting and bizarre creatures, but Hellboy proves to be a relatable main character despite a fearsome appearance (contributable to Ron Perlman’s great performance). Thanks to director Guillermo del Toro’s signature balance of fright and fun, both Hellboy adventures are a blast.

5. X-men: First Class (2011)

Many critics and fans may think X2 is better than X-Men, but I think the explosive prequel X-Men: First Class is the best X-Men film so far, as well as one of my favourite superhero movies ever. I didn’t love the original X-Men trilogy at first, but First Class blew me away upon first viewing and actually made me like the other films even more somehow. It covers a lot of ground in two hours, and proves to be the quickest paced X-Men film yet. That’s one of the only negative aspects I can think of for this movie: it’s so fast, it almost feels like its rushing through the material at times and not taking enough time to show us quieter, slower scenes. Having said that, I didn’t mind the rapid scene to scene pace as it kept the story moving and didn’t leave any characters (or mutants) behind. The visual effects were better than ever, the younger cast delivered, and it has one of the best (and funniest) superhero cameos of all time. You can’t go wrong with X-Men: First Class.

4. The Avengers (2012)

When I first heard they were bringing together some of Marvel’s biggest heroes in a gigantic blockbuster, I was highly skeptical. How could all those characters be balanced properly, how could it deliver enough action while also establishing new heroes and still showing enough of the ones we had come to know in earlier films? How could such a big movie be done well? Leave it up to writer/director Joss Whedon to deliver an unprecedented superhero epic. The Avengers packs in Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Nick Fury, plus brings back Loki as the villain leading an alien army to destroy New York City! Thanks to Whedon’s clever script, every hero gets the appropriate amount of screen time, and there’s lots of action (I loved that the main heroes fought each other before being able to team up and take on Loki), plus a healthy dose of signature Whedon comedy. Not only did it set the bar higher than ever for superhero movies, it was the ultimate culmination of heroes thanks to Marvel cleverly setting up each hero with their own solo films beforehand. Even if you haven’t seen any of the Iron Man movies or the Thor or Captain America films, you can still have a blast with The Avengers.

3. Iron Man (2008)

Before The Avengers, before the Marvel Cinematic Universe ever expanded, there was Iron Man. I had zero expectations for this movie going into it, and it blew my mind. Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man is brilliant. The character feels as grounded in reality as Batman, and that’s no coincidence, as Tony Stark is often seen as the Bruce Wayne of Marvel. This is the film that kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and in my opinion, no film since has been able to trump its excellence and pure entertainment value. It’s not as grandiose as The Avengers, but it doesn’t have to be to be better. As far as a superhero origins film, it’s by far the greatest. We get to see who Tony Stark is, what makes him change his mind set on weapons and heroes, and the action that ensues from him donning that high tech suit. The visual effects are top notch, the music enhances the thrills, and the pacing is perfect. Not only is it one of my favourite superhero movies, but one of my favourite movies ever in recent memory.

2. Spider-Man 2 (2004)

If Iron Man is the best superhero origins film, then Spider-Man 2 is the best Marvel movie sequel to date (Even if you classify The Avengers as a sequel). Not only does it improve on many aspects that were okay-to-questionable in Spider-Man, such as visual effects and the villain, but it tells a more personable story than its predecessor and cements Peter Parker as a character we really want to see succeed. Doc Ock is a cool yet creepy villain, and the tension with Harry Osbourne creates even more suspense. Having Peter juggle his Spider-Man powers and love for Mary Jane are very well handled, with him forced to lose one or the other at every turn. The ending, although somewhat tainted by the events in Spider-Man 3, is still chilling and thrilling. I doubt there will ever be another Spider-Man movie that dethrones Spider-Man 2 as my personal favourite.

1. The Dark Knight (2008)

Depending on your generation, the Adam West Batman might be your favourite Batman film, or the Michael Keaton one may be, but for me it’s Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins sequel that stands out as the greatest Batman film ever. While fans back in the late eighties were unsure of Tim Burton’s alterations to the character and plot, more people were pleased than pissed when Nolan completely revamped the hero. The Dark Knight has received every bit of praise it deserves. It almost seems to have become cool to hate this movie just because so many people love it. Not only is that beyond stupid, there’s not a whole lot you could point out as being flawed about it. It’s as much an epic superhero film as it is a crime drama. Heath Ledger gets the most attention as far as acting (rightfully so), but the entire cast is excellent. The action feels realer than any superhero movie ever. The music is incredible. From beginning to end there is something to like about this movie throughout the entire two and a half hours. The Dark Knight holds a distinct position as my favourite superhero film, one of my favourite movie sequels, and one of my all-time favourite films ever.  

All movie posters from www.wikipedia.org

Hellboy image from www.geeklegacy.com 

GODZILLA (2014) Review

GODZILLA (2014): A Fan’s Review

Godzilla is back. This is the first Godzilla movie I have ever seen in theaters, and yes, it is worthy of the title and being classified as an official Godzilla movie. This isn't really a traditional C.C.C. list, so I'm classifying it as a review, but a review that uses C.C.C. Issue #24 (Top Ten Godzilla 2014 Requirements) as the basis. I’ve decided it’s not possible to fully discuss the movie without getting into spoilers (some of them fairly major), so I’m warning you now, if you are reading this and HAVE NOT seen Godzilla yet, then STOP READING because there are SPOILERS AHEAD. 

10. Did they get the tone right? = 10/10

Director Gareth Edwards did a terrific job directing the human drama and sweeping monster scenes. Not only were the visual effects nearly flawless, but the film looked incredible as a whole. It had the somber feel of the original Godzilla, only now in colour and set in the modern day. It feels like a Godzilla movie, and Godzilla’s presence is known right from the start. He’s there from the beginning through to the end—even though he’s not always around or on screen, you never forget he’s looming somewhere in the film. It’s incredible that they were able to keep Godzilla in a realm of seriousness and (somewhat) believability, without it being too overly serious or dark. This actually connects to one of my main issues with the movie, which I will get into later. As far as tone, Gareth Edwards nailed it, with a serious vibe throughout, but never forgetting the humanity aspect and even inserting a couple moments for the audience to laugh.

 

9. Was Godzilla unstoppable? = 10/10

Godzilla is depicted as a force of nature in this film, and he is certainly a force to be reckoned with. Big G shows up when the world needs saving, and he does. He sets things right, restores balance, and leaves. No one can stop him. Not even two epic giant monsters teaming up against him. I said before that if Godzilla died the movie would suck. This almost happened at the end, but he was just taking a nap after his huge battle. Having the fake out that he might have died bugged me; I didn’t think it was necessary because we all knew he couldn’t be dead, so why bother to try and mislead us? But at least the monsters and military and even nuclear bombs couldn’t truly stop him. This brings me to the next point.

8. Was the military useless (but still tried)? = 10/10

The first time Godzilla comes ashore and everyone sees him, what does the army do? They start shooting him with machine guns. MACHINE GUNS! I actually laughed out loud, but not a pitiful laugh. I was so pleased to see the army try so uselessly to shoot him down, not only because that’s a trademark of any good Godzilla movie, but because it's actually done in a realistic and believable manner. If you were in the army and saw a giant dinosaur towering over you, what would you do? If you had a gun, you would probably use it. No matter how futile your efforts might be, there’s nothing else to do, except run. It was a great moment, because it happened quickly and wasn’t focused on too long, so it didn’t go from funny but understandable to laughable because it was ridiculous.

7. Did they reinvent Godzilla? = 10/10

Godzilla looked great overall, despite some nitpicky details I didn’t care for. He was a little bit too fat and could have been sleeker, his eyes were really small, his snout looked too dog-like, and his feet were too elephant-like. Other than that, he looked like the real Godzilla, and the updated look was well designed. The visual effects to create Big G were excellent. At no point did it feel like he was just a computer generated image—largely thanks to Gareth Edwards situating the audience right in the action and creating a great sense of scale. The textures of Godzilla were even visible, and I couldn’t believe some of the detail they were able to achieve with such a large creature. His roar, though altered and updated, sounded incredible and sent chills down my spine. He even emoted at a couple points, which is something I’ve never seen from Godzilla, but was happy to see. The atomic breath was brought back and looked incredible, his fighting style was kick ass, and he moved with surprising speed at times. All in all, Godzilla looked to be inspired by the original creature and concept, but was not reinvented too much and looked great.

6. Did they show Godzilla and what he can do? = 8/10

This is one of two large problems I had with the movie. While I would love to tell you this was a 10/10 Godzilla experience and did everything right, it wasn’t and didn’t. A lot of people are complaining you don’t get to see Godzilla enough throughout the movie. Someone pointed out that you see him about as much as you see the shark in Jaws, the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, and the original Godzilla in Godzilla from 1954, and it's enough. I have to agree with the latter. Godzilla was in it enough for me, but that’s not my issue. After the first act of the movie, the Muto monsters were established, the story was underway, and Godzilla had been introduced. It was time to have some giant monster action, but the filmmakers felt otherwise. It kept cutting away from the action, and instead showing it on TV screens and news reports rather than getting up close and personal. I was okay with it at first, but then it started getting repetitive to the point where I was feeling cheated. We came to see Godzilla kick monster ass and we weren’t getting it. When Ken Watanabe’s character Dr. Serizawa tells the others, “Let them fight,” and it’s the perfect setup for the best fight scene to take place, the fight never happens. At this point I was getting a little annoyed, but what came next more than made up for it...

5. Was there a decent monster fight? = 10/10

The third act of this movie blew me away. Finally, after false lead ups for much of the second act, it comes down to the main character Ford (Aaron-Taylor Johnson) trying to get a nuclear bomb out of San Francisco, which happens in parallel to Godzilla fighting the Muto monsters in the city. The fight scenes are epic, with Godzilla using classic moves like grappling, biting, tail smacking, and of course his atomic breath, which is hinted at moments before it happens with a terrific, subtle visual tease. The way he kills the final Muto is perhaps one of the greatest monster kills in all of film history. Looking back on it, the false lead ups to those fight scenes that never panned out actually created suspense and built up anticipation for the final confrontation, which made it even more satisfying and exciting. A lot of people are complaining there wasn’t enough of that, but I think there was. This isn’t Pacific Rim with constant, over the top fight scenes; it’s more conservative, but also more meaningful.

4. Did they make the characters likeable... = 7/10

Aaron Taylor-Johnson was decent in the role of Ford Brody.  Having said that, his character is a little flat and cliché, and I wasn’t always rooting for him. As for the rest of the cast, everyone did a serviceable job. Elizabeth Olsen as Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s wife was pretty good, but again I wasn’t always concerned if she lived or died. During the final action sequence it kept going back to her because she was in the city, but it almost felt like a poor excuse to cut away from the monsters. Ken Watanabe as Serizawa was great. Even though a lot of the time he just stood there and looked in awe at the monsters or destruction, he still had some great dialogue. Bryan Cranston was excellent, of course, as a scientist at a Japanese Nuclear Reactor (and Ford’s father) who becomes obsessed with a conspiracy surrounding the event which causes the reactor to melt down and kill many workers, including his wife. The acting was good, however...

3. ...But were the characters made too important? = 8/10

The human drama was favoured over Godzilla’s drama. That’s fine, and even though I think we saw enough of Godzilla throughout, I still feel like there was too much emphasis placed on the humans and new monsters over Godzilla himself. It’s almost like in Godzilla vs. Megalon, where Jet Jaguar was the main hero and Godzilla was the side kick, even though Godzilla was in the title. I’m not saying I would rather have seen two hours of just Godzilla stomping stuff and fighting Mutos and no human interaction, but I think there could have been a finer balance of Godzilla and the human characters. Godzilla is almost at supporting character level here, and the Mutos actually get more screen time than the king of the monsters himself. 

2. Did they give the new monster a good intro? = 9/10

Muto is a paradoxical creature, in that it’s pretty much like everything we’ve seen before, and yet it’s a totally new and original monster. It has elements of previous creatures, like wings similar to Rodan’s, a head kind of like Orga’s from Godzilla 2000, and even some proportions reminiscent of the Cloverfield monster. It’s EMP attack was interesting, but most of all it looked formidable, posed as a worthy villain for Big G, and caused some great destruction. The setup was excellent, and I absolutely loved that Godzilla was briefly explained and just showed up, but we actually got to see some of the Muto’s life cycle, what it’s mission was, and even see it eat a nuclear missile like it was a subway sandwich. While I wished we had seen more of Godzilla, it was excellent to see plenty of Muto.

1. Did they make Godzilla the hero? = 6/10

Here lies my biggest problem with the new Godzilla. As I said before, Godzilla is at his best when he’s an unstoppable force of nature out to settle the score with an enemy at the expense of humanity. He doesn’t care if we live or die, just as long as he wins the fight. Here, Godzilla is a force of nature, but he’s the balancing element. He comes to kill off the Mutos, and though he destroys lots of human structures and killed a lot of innocent people, at the very end when he reawakens after defeating the monsters, he gets up, walks back to the ocean without destroying anything, roars, and swims off. That was fine, but in a stadium, it’s showing a newscast of Godzilla walking away with the headline: “King of the Monsters – Saviour of Humanity?” or something like that. It was great to see that title used in the film, but lame that humanity perceived him as a saviour. Instead of having people cheering and pleased that he came to destroy the monsters, everyone should have been silent and in awe of his awesome power and size as he lumbered back to the ocean, unsure if he saved humankind or just the planet (his home) with total disregard to our own survival. This small thing was almost enough to undo the notion that he was a force of nature and establish him as a hero.

Other positive aspects: The music was great and perfectly complimented the look and feel of the movie, the sound effects were extremely well done and fit with the creatures and destruction, and it actually paid tribute to the original Godzilla in a few ways. Plus, a Mothra Easter Egg had me giggling to myself.

Other negative aspects: Considering how excellent the cast was, the characters were uninspired and unremarkable. Not that I expected human characters that would be really excellent (we’re here to see Godzilla, after all), but considering actors like Bryan Cranston and Ken Watanabe were present, their characters were underused and underdeveloped.

Final score: 7/10. I thoroughly enjoyed this Godzilla reboot. While it wasn’t perfect (I didn’t expect it to be), it still delivered pretty much everything I wanted to see in a new Godzilla movie. Despite some iffy human melodrama, a lack of seeing Godzilla destroying stuff, and a disappointing concluding scene, Godzilla is visually incredible, delivers epic scenes, and re-imagines the character for modern American audiences in perhaps the best way possible.