Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Top Ten Scariest Disney Moments: C.C.C Issue #47






Top 10 Scariest Disney Movie Moments

When you think of Walt Disney Pictures, you probably picture happy, feature length cartoons filled with colourful characters singing and dancing and living happily ever after. Well, maybe you used to.

But think harder, and you will probably realize many of your childhood favourite Disney films have scenes or images that left you disturbed and perhaps mentally scarred for life. Among those musical numbers and young characters learning valuable life lessons, there was likely a main antagonist with a nasty agenda or a macabre environment threatening the survival of those characters we were rooting for.

Though most of the films notable for containing mature content and even flat out horror motifs are from the studios’ earlier productions, even modern features targeted at young audiences like the Pixar films contain visuals that will spur some parents into shielding their child’s eyes or hitting fast forward on the remote.

With Disney’s thrillingly/frighteningly realistic-looking live-action remake of The Jungle Book hitting theaters next week, It’s time to count down the ten most unnerving, bizarre, and straight up scary moments from movies by Disney. The studio may offer family friendly fare for the most part, but sometimes a scene will come along in a film targeted at children that will prove emotionally jolting, nightmare inducing, and genuinely frightening. These ten have haunted the minds of children and adults alike for years. Yes, there are SPOILERS ahead.


10. Carnotaur Attack, Dinosaur (2000)

The flesh-eating Carnotaurs may not have been as scary as Jurassic Park’s T-rex, but they still proved to be formidable villains, and made children appreciate the extinction of dinos all those millions of years ago. Known to paleontologists as Carnotaurus (Latin for meat-eating bull), they were portrayed as larger and faster than what fossils suggested, which made them even more harrowing. The opening scene of the film shows a Carnotaur ambushing a herd of dinosaurs and taking one down. Though the carnage they are capable of isn’t explicitly shown, their presence is enough to send chills down the spines of the biggest childhood dinosaur enthusiasts.

9. Cruella de Vil’s Evil Face, 101 Dalmatians (1961)

This cute animated adventure is about a bunch of Dalmatian pups wanted by Cruella de Vil, a materialistic woman who’s obsessed with the fur of the spotted canines, and wants them so she can make coats. It’s easy to love the talking dogs and their caring owners, and easier yet to dislike Cruella for her cruel intentions. She’s considered one of the great Disney villains, and that’s due in part to the climactic scene where she’s chasing down the pups in her car. She’s all over the road, speeding, crashing into things, and there’s one frame where it zooms in on her crazy face. Her eyes are orange and face contorted. She stares directly at the screen and into your soul. It lasts only a couple seconds, but is beyond unsettling.

8. Ursula’s Unlimited Power, The Little Mermaid (1989)

When watching an animated movie about a mermaid who falls in love with a man and has happy fish friends that like to sing, would you ever expect it to have a horrifying climax involving the onscreen murder of the main villain? Until the final showdown, principle antagonist Ursula is entertaining but not particularly evil. It’s shocking to see her take Neptune’s crown and transform into a giant sea monster that could easily have been The Kraken’s wife. Her horrific rule of the sea is cut short when the prow of a ship impales her. The tip poking out her back is clearly visible. Maybe that’s why The Kraken was so pissed off in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. 

7. Sid’s Scary Toys, Toy Story (1995)

Though plenty of viewers had their heartstrings yanked by the nail biting garbage compactor scene in the third act of Toy Story 3, it was the original animated feature by Pixar which proved most unsettling. When Woody and Buzz are taken by evil next door neighbour Sid, a toy murderer with a disturbing agenda, they meet all the other toys unfortunate enough to have come into Sid’s possession. After seeing the happy, quirky, fun toys in Andy’s room, it’s utterly shocking and appalling to see Sid’s collection of “mutant toys”, the most unsettling of all being a shaved baby doll’s head with mechanical legs attached at the neck. They’re made less scary as the movie progresses and eventually you can root for them, but upon first reveal, Sid’s toys scare the crap out of you, and that baby head is still hard for me to look at to this day.

6. Snow White’s Satanic Woods, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)

For a lot of people, the Queen’s transformation from easy on the eyes to horrendous and haggard is the most upsetting scene from Snow White, but for many others it’s the scene earlier in the film where Snow White is just walking along, happy and unassuming, then out of nowhere, she’s in a shadowy forest of floating eyes and shrieking music and ghastly, unspeakable and indescribable nightmarish madness! The haunted forest comes out of nowhere and it’s not even clear what’s going on because of the gloominess. While it’s easy to understand what’s going on with the Queen’s transformation, it’s never made clear what exactly happened in those wacko woods, and the things we don’t understand are always the things that scare us the most. 

5. Chernabog Raises Hell, Fantasia (1940) 

 Fantasia’s series of short animated sequences accompanied by classic orchestration have been much celebrated since its release, including the unforgettable “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” with Mickey Mouse performing magic and the rise and fall of the dinosaurs. But the final sequence called “Night on Bald Mountain” takes a seriously dark turn, following the satanic super demon Chernabog, who raises the spirits of the dead and scares the hell out of any child watching. How can it go from a cartoon mouse wearing a magician’s hat to a yellow-eyed devil resurrecting the deceased? This shadowy, foreboding sequence ranks among the most disturbing scenes from a family film ever.

4. The Horned King’s Army Of Darkness, The Black Cauldron (1985)

The Black Cauldron is a lesser-known Disney flick which performed poorly at the box office back in the day, perhaps due to its PG rating and ominous material. If you thought “Night on Bald Mountain” was scary, at least it was short. It’s a cake walk compared to this feature-length dark fantasy tale. The Horned King, voiced by original Alien victim John Hurt, would make even Chernabog want to sleep with a night light on. His voice is sinister, his face is reminiscent of Skeletor’s, and he wears antlers on his head (lending to his name).  The most frightening moment of all comes when he raises the spirits of the dead using the Black Cauldron. Perhaps The Evil Dead sequels were somewhat inspired by this film.  

3. Bambi’s Mother Gets Shot, Bambi (1942)

This moment is debatably more saddening or shocking than scary, but in a film about happy talking deer, I think it can safely be classified as pure terror. Halfway through the film, Bambi and his mom are just eating some new spring grass, when all of a sudden they’re fleeing for their lives from a poacher. Bambi escapes to the thicket as a gunshot rings out across the silent forest. He quickly realizes his mother has been killed. Even for adults, this is a disheartening moment. At least it wasn’t shown on screen as was originally planned. Something tells me Disney wouldn’t have the balls to kill a character like this in today’s animated films. 

2. The Displeasure Of Pleasure Island, Pinocchio (1940)


There are a number of frightening moments from Pinocchio—when the angry sperm whale Monstro hunts Pinocchio and Geppetto down in the thrilling finale, or when the Coachmen (who lures kids to Pleasure Island) tells the fox, “They never come back as...BOYS!”, and his face turns bright pink, his eyes go green and wide, and he makes a toothy grin. But scariest of all is what really happens on Pleasure Island, a seemingly fun place for kids to do everything their parents won’t let them. The bad part: they get turned into donkeys and forced into slavery. The transformation of Pinocchio’s friend into a jittering jackass looks as painful and distressing as becoming the Wolfman. It’s as weird, shocking, and gut wrenching as any scene you will ever see in an animated feature.

1. The Beast Bear, The Fox and the Hound (1981)

Damn Disney, you scary! Without a doubt the scariest Disney moment for me is the climactic scene where a gigantic black bear comes out of the woods with the intent to kill and devour the title animals. Its eyes are fire red, it has huge sharp teeth and claws, it roars like a Tyrannosaurus, and it stands upwards of fifteen feet tall at the shoulder. This colossal bear shows up out of nowhere at the end for only a few minutes, but the sequence is nightmarish enough to make any camping experiences in the near future filled with sleepless nights and constant dread. It’s a safe assumption that many kids buried their heads in the couch cushions when this monster popped up for the first time, just like I did (and maybe I still do).

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Top Ten Worst Superhero Movies: C.C.C Issue #46





Top 10 Worst Superhero Movies


Unfortunately for DC fans, the conversations about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, only the second entry in the DC Cinematic Universe, are more to do with how the movie is disappointing rather than satisfying. 

Back in C.C.C Issue #27, I covered what I thought were the ten best superhero movies to date (a list that has since changed quite a bit since), but now it’s time to look at ten of the worst. Some of these might be less “superhero” movies than they are simply “comic book” movies, but they’re still about heroes, even if they aren’t necessarily of the “super” variety. 

This is not a definitive top ten list, these are just my own top ten worst, though I’m aware of many worse ones out there that I haven’t seen. 

Dishonourable Mentions: I haven’t seen any of these, but I know they’re in the conversation of worst ever.

-Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

-Supergirl (1984)

-Superhero Movie (2008)

-The Spirit (2008)

-Steel (1997)

-Captain America (1990)

-Green Lantern (2011)

-Fantastic Four (take your pick)


10. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) 

Some might say Spider-Man 3 is among the worst superhero movies ever, and while I agree it was disappointing, it’s not near as bad as the one that killed the franchise a second time. I wasn’t a fan of the first Amazing Spider-Man, but Amazing Spider-Man 2 was almost universally rejected by the movie-going community, despite raking in hundreds of millions of dollars. It attempts to set up future movies and fails, it ruins not one, not two, but three classic Spidey villains, is so all over the place that it feels like it could’ve (and should’ve) been multiple movies, and intrudes into the realm of being cartoony, similar to what Spider-Man 3 did, only much worse. Aside from the chemistry between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, there’s little that’s good, and it was obvious Sony hadn’t learned from the mistakes made with Spider-Man 3. Thankfully, Sony struck a deal with Marvel, and we get to see a brand-new take on the friendly neighbourhood hero starting with this summer’s Captain America: Civil War. Hopefully the new stand-alone Spider-Man film set for release next summer doesn’t turn out like this turd (which happens to be the most recent of the ten movies on this list). 
 
9. Elektra (2005)

I didn’t hate 2003’s Daredevil, unlike most movie-goers who were also fans of the comic book. For some reason, Elektra Natchios, of all characters, got her own spin-off movie, which sounded cool enough. Jennifer Garner returned to the role she played in Daredevil, she kicked a lot of butt in that movie, and she looked good doing so, of course it would work again, right? Wrong, unfortunately. Elektra takes a mystical turn, which is completely inconsistent with the tone of Daredevil, and though Jennifer Garner still looks really hot in red leather twirling her pair of sai, the movie lacks decent special effects, action, and coherence. Worst of all, it’s largely boring. Sorry, Ms. Natchios, but you should’ve stayed in Hell’s Kitchen. Of course now we have a new Elektra in the Daredevil Netflix series, which so far, is quite the contrary to both the Daredevil and Elektra films. 

8. Jonah Hex (2010)

I actually forgot I saw this movie for quite a while, but then I saw it in the bargain bin at Walmart and horrible memories started returning. I don’t know the first thing about the comic book character on which this movie’s based, but I can only imagine how bad fans must’ve felt when this poorly executed, laughable adaptation was released. Josh Brolin does what he can in the role, which is very little, as do all the other actors (even Megan Fox sort of tried), but nothing could save Jonah Hex from its flawed script and shoddy production value. Strangest of all is how short the movie is. It clocks in at just 81 minutes, which actually is a positive, because it means it ends that much sooner. If you haven’t seen this movie, leave it that way, but if you have, I’m sorry I reminded you about its existence. 





7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)


None of the five (soon to be six) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies have been hits with critics, but fans and critics can agree that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (often incorrectly given the subtitle “Turtles in Time”) is the worst of the series, and for me, one of the worst comic book movies ever. The rubber turtle suits look worse than they ever had, the humour is grating, and there’s a general lack of quality action. Having the turtles go back in time simply didn’t make for a very interesting or potential-filled premise. I think the best review of this movie that sums it all up is James Rolfe’s Angry Movie Nerd review, which breaks it down really well, and is hilarious at the same time. Definitely check that out instead of the actual movie. 

6. Howard the Duck (1986)

To most of the generation growing up with mainly awesome comic book adaptations these days, Howard the Duck is likely just a weird 80’s relic that they probably didn’t even realize was a Marvel character until he showed up in the after-credits scene of Guardians of the Galaxy (at which point they looked to their parents and asked, “what was with that talking duck?”, or maybe they didn’t question it, given they had just seen a movie featuring a talking raccoon and walking/talking tree). Howard the Duck is just a mess of a movie. Even if it had been made in animation as originally intended, it probably still would’ve sucked, but being in live-action made it even worse. 



5. Son of the Mask (2005)

 
There’s a very good chance this sequel is worse than several other movies higher up on this list, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen it, and it was just so bad, I can’t remember anything specific enough to warrant ranking it higher. What I do remember is The Mask with Jim Carrey is one of Carrey’s best movies, and the sequel, which ditched him and had the mask find a new owner, bored me even as a child. The visual effects and comedic action scenes were not revelations like they were before, and played too much like a Looney Tunes cartoon. Stupid sequel, the less said about it the better.  

4. Batman and Robin (1997) 

This one is kind of infamous in the conversation of worst movies ever, not just limited to comic book or superhero movies. For some it’s so bad it’s good, and while I think it has some parts that certainly are, overall I just can’t stand it. Seeing Batman disgraced like this is made even worse with how great Batman and Batman Returns were, with Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight, and Tim Burton’s dark, gothic take on the character. We got a preview of what was to come with Batman Forever, which is nowhere near as bad as Batman and Robin, but like a number of movies on this list, Batman and Robin was bad enough to kill the franchise. In this case, it would be quite a bit longer until Batman made a comeback with Batman Begins.






3. Catwoman (2004) 


In C.C.C issue 13 (Top Ten Worst Movies Released Theatrically) I put Batman and Robin one spot closer to #1 than Catwoman. Since making that list, I’ve revisited both movies, and I have to say, Catwoman gets one degree more hate simply for being boring. At least Batman and Robin is entertaining at times. Catwoman is just so purr-fectly shitty I can’t even get through it without fast-forwarding through some of the many scenes of nothingness. Remember how Batman was dead after Batman and Robin? Well it didn’t stop the studio from spinning off this famous anti-hero into her own movie, and then messing with the character’s lore in the worst ways possible. Well, okay, at least Halle Berry looked pretty good, but that stupid hat on her head just made me miss the far superior depiction by Michelle Pfeiffer.  

2. Ghost Rider (2007)/Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) 

Okay, I have to admit something, I haven’t seen Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance in it’s entirety. But I don’t care, I’m slapping it in here with the first one because the first one was a pile of shit and the second one is surely just as bad if not worse. These movies are the textbook examples of how a comic book can be so grossly misinterpreted as a film. The first one felt like it was trying to be a comic book in movie form, rather than just trying to be a good movie. The cgi effects don’t look convincing at all, and having Nicholas Cage in the title role ruins that illusion even further. It doesn’t help that Ghost Rider has never been a favourite hero of mine, but it also didn’t help getting such incompetent writers and directors to helm both projects. 

1. Super Babies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) 


This movie exists. I’d like to leave it at that, but I’ll extrapolate. First there was Baby Geniuses, a movie with babies, made for babies. Then there’s Super Babies, with the same premise of talking babies, but this time, they’re superheroes, fighting against Jon Voight, who plays a villain trying to control the world using TV. If someone, anyone, were to create a list of all the elements of a film, and I mean a comprehensive list—big things like director, writer, cinematographer, smaller things like lighting, dubbing, opening and closing titles—and beside each element, put an X and a check mark, and then evaluate this movie using this list, not a single thing on that list would have a check mark circled. There is absolutely nothing good about this movie. Nothing. I’m done. This is the lowest of the low when it comes to superhero movies. I dread the day, if the day ever comes, that I see a superhero movie worse than this. 


For more on several of these movies (including an anecdote about why Baby Geniuses 2 makes me feel like puking to this day), check out C.C.C Issue #13: http://cccmovies.blogspot.ca/2014/02/ccc-issue-13-top-ten-worst-theatrically.html