Killer Crocodile (1989) Review

WEEK 4: WHAT A CROC

Killer Crocodile (1989) Review

Just like a number of horror film classics, nearly all of the most well-known killer animal movies are by American filmmakers, but a lot of people don’t realize there is a plethora of quality productions by foreign filmmakers as well. Japan has their Godzilla series, South Korea has The Host, and then there’s Killer Crocodile, which is essentially an Italian version of Jaws with a crocodile in place of a shark. But that’s just on the surface; what lurks beneath is much more than merely a Jaws rip-off.

In the opening scene, before any credits are shown, a half-naked chick goes for a swim in a river, and is attacked and killed, Jaws-style, and it all happens in only a couple of minutes. The next scene is at night, with two fishermen sitting in their boat, and this scene only lasts a few seconds. Without warning, the titular creature explodes out of the water, shown in full, without cutting away, and the title KILLER CROCODILE is superimposed over its gaping mouth. It’s a great way to open the movie—it’s unexpected, satisfying, and gets you eager to see more. And there is, luckily, much more to see. The plot, to quote Dr. Evil, is “...pretty standard stuff, really.” Toxic waste made the croc big, it pursues some people on a boat, one of their friends and dog are killed (the dog’s name is either Candy or Ghandi, not sure which), they hire a reptile hunter to kill it, and there’s a final battle with the creature. But no one in their right mind would watch this movie for some totally brand-new and sophisticated plot, of course.

Killer Crocodile, despite the generic title, is fairly distinct among killer crocodile movies. The director clearly had no problem showing the croc—it’s not hidden like most of these movies try to do—and while part of the fun is waiting to see the creature in these sorts of movies, sometimes it feels like a chore to wait through dull dialogue and ineffective suspense just to get to the good stuff. Here, the croc is in the spotlight, and it doesn’t look bad at all. The rubber effects are pretty remarkable, and the croc itself looks unique. I bet if you took screenshots of all the crocodile movies I reviewed this week, even casual viewers could pick out the one from Killer Crocodile. Maybe it’s because of its huge bumpy scales, or glowing yellow eyes, or brown teeth, but whatever it is, it looks menacing. Unfortunately, looks aren’t everything. The croc moves like a robot, gliding perfectly straight through the water, and moves pretty damn slow, but not so slow that it can’t bite down on some hapless victims.

The action is ridiculous and cheesy as hell, and it’s glorious. Limbs are severed and blood bubbles up all over the place—it felt like a classic Grindhouse horror flick, despite only coming out a decade before Lake Placid, one of the more modern croc films. The croc is impervious to just about everything—guns, knives, sharp sticks—and it only makes the humans futilely fighting back even funnier. Whenever the croc is around, the movie is great. If only it could have been around the entire time.

Because this is an Italian film, and it’s all in Italian (I was unable to find an English dub) it makes the talking scenes even more boring than usual. I don’t mean that to be offensive—I’m sure Italians found Jaws boring in the talking scenes, too—but it really makes the scenes where character development is attempted unwatchable. Usually dialogue and characterization isn’t even important in English killer animal movies, anyway. However, some scenes come off as funnier than intended because I had no idea what they were saying, such as when two of the characters (one of them looks like Mark from The Room, and I think he’s the main character, not sure though) are arguing about something on the boat, and then one of them says something, and then the other just shoves him right off the boat and into the river, where the croc is waiting. I don’t know what he said, but it must have seriously pissed the other guy off.

Besides being a Jaws rip-off, Killer Crocodile is also a lot like Anaconda (but, since Killer Crocodile came out first Anaconda is actually like Killer Crocodile). The settings look extremely similar—from the river to the surrounding forest, and even the boats are alike—but it’s unlike Anaconda in one very crucial way. The second act of Killer Crocodile is mostly devoid of action, and the croc is barely in it. While the early appearances of the croc and the final action sequence make up for this fact, it still would have been substantially better if they had done something like in the second act of Anaconda with trying to capture the croc. I’m sure if this had been made after Anaconda, they would have written that into the script, too. Perhaps they did something like that in the sequel, Killer Crocodile II, which they apparently filmed simultaneously with the first, though I haven't seen it yet.

While it transcends some extreme similarities to Jaws and is a cheesy good time, I can’t really recommend Killer Crocodile to just anyone. This movie is only for the most hardcore fans of killer animal films. What I would recommend is watching the highlight reel on YouTube of the best scenes. Also, this movie is difficult to find. I was only able to locate a French-dubbed version on YouTube. This is why I would recommend simply watching the highlights if you aren’t a diehard fan like myself. Note: a restored blu ray of Killer Crocodile with subtitles was released in fall 2019.