Monday, March 1, 2021

King Kong Movies Ranked


KING KONG MOVIES RANKED!

 

Before Godzilla: King of the Monsters was released in 2019, I undertook the huge challenge of ranking all the Godzilla films that had been released up to that point, and now with Godzilla vs. Kong finally being released, I thought I’d give King Kong the same ranking treatment. This wasn’t nearly as hard, since there are way fewer films, but the results might still be surprising to some.

At the absolute bottom of the list we have King of the Lost World. This one…isn’t even a King Kong movie. But, it does feature a giant ape that is very clearly supposed to be ripping off King Kong, and given this is my personal most-hated film out of every movie I have ever seen in my life, it ranks as the worst King Kong movie ever, unofficial or otherwise.

 

8. King Kong Lives (1986)


Both the original King Kong and the 1976 remake had sequels, but this sequel to the remake goes in a very bizarre and ultimately unsatisfying direction. It turns out King Kong didn’t actually die after being shot down from the World Trade Center, so he’s on life support in the beginning of the film, and they find a Queen Kong, as well, but having more than one giant ape doesn’t make for a better sequel. This one has boring human characters, a lack of memorable action or spectacle, and very little to set it apart from other Kong films in positive ways. I already wasn’t a fan of the first film, and this one is even campier, cheaper, and dumber. I think it might be the only official King Kong movie that I don’t recommend, even though it isn’t without some appealing practical effects and B-quality monster-on-military clashes.

 

7. King Kong (1976)


The 1976 remake of King Kong is a remake in the sense of retelling the same overall story, but it tells it in a much different way. It doesn’t have the same sense of harrowing adventure and dazzling fantasy as the original, it’s more of a slow, dour tragedy, and many have come to appreciate it for what it is, but I for one don’t find it to be that compelling or enjoyable. Kong is portrayed by a man in a suit, and while the effects are good for what they are, it still just doesn’t have the same appeal as stop motion, or even a cgi motion capture performance, for that matter. The characters aren’t that likable overall, even though the main girl Kong takes a liking to is more than just a damsel in distress this time, and the sets are pretty impressive, but without any dinosaurs or other creatures on Skull Island (aside from a giant snake), this version just doesn’t feel like it’s paying enough homage to the original, nor is it trying to outdo the original, or be enough of its own thing, so its exact purpose for existing at all, other than to make money off the name and concept, becomes a little dubious. It’s still worth at least a one-time watch, but definitely doesn’t hold up in the same way that the best Kong films do.  

 

6. Kong: Skull Island (2017)


Unlike the 70’s remake, this reboot is more of a general tribute to schlock monster movies, and I know I’m in the minority with my opinion, but I don’t really like Kong: Skull Island very much. While it is certainly miles ahead of many other Kong iterations with its modern special effects (which are all very good, even if it is all cgi), its stand-out cinematography (so many of the shots are memorable and gorgeous and epic), and even something as simple as its ties to Godzilla (the end credit scene is the best part), I just find it mostly generic, mainly because the characters are all so stock that having them played by such a great cast feels like a waste, and the creatures are nothing special. Kong himself is great to see in action, but his purpose in the story isn’t as central as usual, and a lot of the action isn’t that unique or thrilling. For a modern giant monster movie, it’s average or maybe slightly above that, but in comparison to the history of King Kong films, I find it sub-par.

 

5. King Kong Escapes (1967)


I might be ridiculous for putting this one above Kong: Skull Island and the 70’s remake, but honestly, I find King Kong Escapes to be more fun in a so-bad-it’s-good way, and I’m minorly nostalgic for this undeniably absurd take on the eighth wonder of the world. First of all, Kong himself looks like a Muppet. The special effects are all cheap and goofy, even compared to earlier Toho films, but still have an undeniable charm. The plot is goofy, too, with the evil Dr. Who (no relation to the BBC series) building a mechanical King Kong called Mechani-Kong in order to mine a dangerous element, but then he goes after the real King Kong when it fails, and we get a recreation of the famous Kong-T.rex fight, only this time with Gorosaurus, who later appeared in the Godzilla film Destroy All Monsters. King Kong also battles Mechani-Kong at the end. It might be silly and inconsistent throughout, but King Kong Escapes manages to be more creative and elicit more of a reaction from me at key points than the three King Kong films further down this list.   

 

4. Son of Kong (1933)


Technically, Son of Kong doesn’t count, because it features his son, Little Kong, and not the actual eighth wonder of the world himself, but I’ll still rank it because 1) it was made by the same creative team as the original King Kong, and 2) if we want to get really technical, you could say the Kong featured in Kong: Skull Island isn’t really King Kong, either, because 1) no one ever calls him King Kong, 2) he’s clearly an offspring of other Kongs, and 3) it takes place decades after the original Kong was set and tells a pretty different story to the original, which means another story closer to the original’s story featuring an actual King Kong may have occurred and we just don’t know about it. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’m a huge Kong nerd but none of this matters and I’m just going to rank Son of Kong at #4. It’s more comedic and less epic than the original, but still has the same classic vibes and holds up nearly as well.  

 

3. King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)


The first time Godzilla emerged from the depths was two decades after King Kong plummeted to his death in New York City. It would be over a decade after Godzilla’s debut before Toho brought Kong back from the dead to battle the King of the Monsters, in one of the greatest monster mashes of all-time. Limitations in special effects during the era didn’t stop Toho from putting everything they could into this one, with great scenes of Godzilla fighting the military and Kong fighting a giant octopus being memorable highlights that occur long before the two stars ever meet. The human characters are consistent with the majority of those found throughout the early Showa-era Godzilla films (minus the original film), and the pacing is great, with not too much time spent on either the people or the monsters, but leaving nothing out, either. Godzilla and Kong’s final battle is a spectacle, and will make you laugh as much as fist pump, no matter who you are rooting for. It may be too dated and cheesy for some to enjoy nowadays, but it’s still a lot of fun, and satisfies as both a King Kong film and a Godzilla film in equal parts.

 

2. King Kong (2005)


Peter Jackson was on top of the world once he wrapped his award-winning adaptation of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Hollywood let him make whatever the hell he wanted afterward, however he wanted to make it. He had wanted to remake King Kong even before taking on Middle Earth. The final product was an epic homage, but at three-hours-long, was just too much for most movie-goers. When King Kong is at its best, it really is a sight to behold, but even as someone who loves it nearly as much as the original, I wouldn’t deny that it’s overindulgent. That being said, I think it’s one of the best remakes of all-time, because Jackson utilized the most sophisticated special effects techniques available at the time (like the original), he set it in the 1930’s and followed the original story very closely, and most of all, he stayed true to the spirit of the original, which no other King Kong film to date has done. It’s exciting, it’s scary, it’s character-driven without skimping on the dinosaurs and other creatures, it’s grandiose, it’s emotional, and it just plain holds up.

 

1. King Kong (1933)


As I write this, King Kong is 88 years old. I watched it again only a few months ago, and to say it holds up is too simple of a way to put it. The original King Kong is more than the golden standard for monster movies. It’s more than one of the most historically significant motion pictures of all-time. King Kong is timeless. I seriously can’t say enough good things about it. Sometimes I think about movies that have come out in the 21st century and wonder which one will stand out the most for people in the decades that follow. What will be the King Kong of its era? Because there is nothing else like King Kong. It has sound, music, and special effects, all of which was pretty new at the time it came out, but nothing else from that era has stood the test of time or remained in pop culture to nearly the same degree. What else can I say? The original King Kong is the best King Kong film ever made, and the best that will ever be made. Even Peter Jackson knew that when he remade it. I hope there are more great King Kong films in the future, but even if there aren’t, I’m fine with that. I will always have the original to look back on and watch in wonder. It’s a miracle how something so incredible was made so long ago, and has remained so significant and entertaining.

 

For all my other thoughts on everything King Kong, check out the links below:

King Kong (1933): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2016/07/king-kong-1933-favourite-films-series.html

Son of Kong (1933): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2019/10/son-of-kong-1933-review.html

Kong: Skull Island (2017): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2017/03/kong-skull-island-2017-review_16.html

King Kong (1933) vs. Godzilla (1954): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2016/06/king-kong-1933-vs-godzilla-1954-movie.html

King Kong (1976) vs. Godzilla (1998): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2016/07/king-kong-1976-vs-godzilla-1998-movie.html

King Kong (2005) vs. Godzilla (2014): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2016/07/king-kong-2005-vs-godzilla-2014-movie.html

Godzilla Villains (spoiler: Kong ranks at #1): https://cccmovies.blogspot.com/2014/05/ccc-issue-26-top-ten-godzilla-villains.html

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