Top Five Most Preposterous Versus Movies: C.C.C Issue #45

Top Five Most Preposterous Versus Movies

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice hits theaters this weekend, and while many fans are excited to see the two heroes duke it out before teaming up and kick-starting the Justice League of America, a great number of people who aren’t as familiar with the comic books from which these heroes originate are asking a very simple but very valid question: why are Batman and Superman fighting? Aren’t they good guys? Aren’t they on the same team?

The idea of having Batman and Superman battle might seem a little silly to some, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense than these five absolutely ridiculous versus films that I’ve dug up. Coincidently (or maybe not coincidentally) they are all of the sci-fi-action genres, so you could take this as a top five most preposterous sci-fi versus movies, but I’d like to see someone else find five other more preposterous versus movies that aren’t these ones and aren’t in the sci-fi-action genres.

5. Boa vs. Python (2004)

The idea for this movie is pretty straight forward and, honestly, not a bad one. Two giant snakes battling to the death? Sure, sign me up. It’s the way the concept is executed that makes it so preposterous. Scientists send in a giant boa when some crazy rich dude unleashes a genetically-engineered python for him and his friends to hunt in the wild (like he thinks he’s the Predator or something). Boa vs. Python was released direct-to-video, features extremely crappy cgi, horrendous acting, a lack of good action scenes, but a ton of weird, silly, or downright idiotic moments. You can check out my review for more details (http://cccmovies.blogspot.ca/2015/10/boa-vs-python-2004-review.html) but what it comes down to is, Boa vs. Python was just a cash grab, unlike the other four versus movies on this list (well, unlike some of them).

4. Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010)

First there was Dinocroc in 2004. An un-assuming creature feature from Roger Corman, not terribly outrageous (scientists experiment on a resurrected Suchomimus, a real-life species of dinosaur, which gets loose and attacks people), but then there was 2007’s Supergator, which isn’t a sequel by title because Sci-Fi Channel didn’t want Corman to make a sequel. But it kind of is a sequel, he just didn’t call it Dinocroc 2. But it kind of isn’t a sequel, because it follows a different but similar crocodilian-type creature. And then, in 2010, the crossover I never thought would happen: Dinocroc vs. Supergator. I never saw Supergator, but I saw Dinocroc, and hated it, not because of what it was, but because of what it had the potential to be. Every actor in Dinocroc took the movie pretty seriously, which clashed horribly with the bad effects and directing. It should’ve been played up for maximum cheese the way the crossover eventually did. Just the idea of two totally made-up monsters that are sort of based on real dinosaurs battling is crazy, but take a look at the trailer on YouTube, and tell me if you don’t laugh.

3. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

This kicked off the long-going “Mega” series that SyFy is probably most well-known for next to their Sharknado series. I don’t really know if they all connect or not, but it doesn’t matter, because all that’s needed are two giant (or mega) shitty cgi creatures fighting and some ultra-low-grade actors spouting one-liners, and you have a potential entry in the “mega” series. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is cited as one of the most fun entries in this series. If you have to ask what the appeal is, then I think you might be reading the wrong top five list. This movie is exactly what it looks like, there’s no mystery about it. You could pick any number of the “Mega” films as being among the most preposterous versus movies—Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid—but the original tops them all, simply for being the one that started this whole insane line of “Mega” versus movies.  

2. Alien vs. Ninja (2010)

There must’ve been some kind of versus movie craze around 2010. This is definitely up there in the category of underappreciated, cheesy, outrageous versus movies, if such a category exists. It is certainly a cash-in on Alien vs. Predator (it even uses the abbreivation : AVN), but that doesn’t stop it from being totally balls-to-the-wall insane. Only the Japanese can come up with something as awesome as this. Again, this is exactly what you would expect, some ninjas fight some aliens. The aliens look really similar to H.R. Giger’s design for the creature in the original Alien, but hey, if you ever wanted to see the Alien fight some ninjas instead of the Predator, this is the movie for you. There’s an impressive amount of practical effects, unlike the aforementioned films, and the action scenes are pretty spectacular. It’s bloody, goes in some unusual directions, and has a twisted sense of humour, all of which just adds to the ridiculousness. I’d recommend checking this one out if you want to see the sub-genres of alien invasion films and ninja films collide.  

1. Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf (2015)

Seriously, you had me at Sharktopus.

For me, Sharktopus holds a special place amid the collection of films that are so bad they’re good. The genetic hybrid of a shark and an octopus essentially takes the two stars of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and smashes them together to make a brand-new ass-kicking creature. But oh no, that was just the tip of the ice berg. Now take the DNA of a whale, and a wolf, and turn some poor guy into Whalewolf. Yes, Whalewolf is the creature’s actual name. I just feel bad it never got its own solo film first.

How do you escalate an already preposterous idea for a movie, in the form of Sharktopus? Why, you give the creature its own Twitter account in the sequel, of course (yes, this is actually in the movie, check the trailer). Oh, and you make it fight another genetic hybrid. And it didn’t even start with Whalewolf. Before this movie, there was Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda, a barracuda with pterodactyl DNA mixed in. I don’t know, doesn’t seem quite as ambitious as Whalewolf.

At this point, the very basic idea of a versus movie has been taken to the absolute brink of insanity. That is why Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf is, for the time being, the most preposterous versus movie ever. The question now, though: what will they have in store this year?