CLAYTON'S CREEPY CINEMA!
WEEK 2: MUTANT MAYHEM
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
This low budget filmmaking
endeavor is not all that well known, but let this review serve as a warning and
keep The Beast of Yucca Flats a
mystery mutant film that no one shall see, for it is without a doubt, one of
the worst films I have ever had the displeasure of watching.
Years ago, I bought one of
those discount DVD collections—those clunky box sets labelled with ‘Over 13
Hours!’ and contain a dozen or so movies jammed into three DVD’s—and the
collection was Incredible Monsters. I
had bought it for one or two classics, but had never really watched any of the
other films it featured. I decided one day to pop in disc one and watch the
first film, The Beast of Yucca Flats.
In short, it’s about a scientist who gets mutated by radiation in a desert, and
terrorizes other unfortunate people out in this radioactive wasteland. It was only 54 minutes long, but it felt like
an eternity of punishment.
This is surely one of the worst
movies ever made, if you can even classify it as a movie. The irony is it’s
supposed to be a horror movie, but the only thing horrific about it is how bad
it is. Apparently it was originally filmed without sound, and narration and
dialogue were all added in afterwards. Is it obvious? Well, no character’s
mouths are shown when they speak (apparently so it wouldn’t have to be synced
up), and the narration is extremely repetitive, so yeah, it is obvious, and it
sucks. Throughout I often wondered if the director even had a script, or if
they were just shooting random scenes in hopes that it would all somehow
connect. The opening scene is a woman getting out of the shower, only to be
strangled by a man whom we never see. This woman isn’t in the film again, her
significance to the plot is never explained, it’s not even confirmed if she was
killed by the beast in the title or not! And speaking of ‘The Beast’, former
wrestler Tor Johnson was dressed up in stupid clothes and dubbed a monster, but
he isn’t even a legit monster. I have seen elementary school Halloween costumes
more elaborate and disturbing than his sorry excuse of a beast.
Not only does it fail to be an
engaging story or harrowing experience, this film fails at the most basic cinematic elements. The main character is weak (none of the character’s are
even likeable, in fact) the plot is confusing, the budget is evidently
miniscule, the pacing is atrocious, and there’s a laundry list half a mile long
with other issues regarding this piece of trash. I’m asking you to just take my
word on this. This is such a bad movie that it makes
Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Citizen Kane. You can save
those precious 54 minutes of your life doing something way more constructive,
and not waste them like I did. That is my report, may you all avoid The Best of Yucca Flats. 
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