WEEK 5: SOMETHING SMELLS FISHY
Octopus 2: River of Fear (2001) Review
There’s a story behind the first time I saw Octopus 2. It was long before I saw the
first Octopus, but they hold no
connection aside from having octopuses, so that point is moot. I watched it with a
good friend, and we knew it was going to be bad, but we didn’t expect it to be
so boring. So, we muted the TV and
spoke for the characters, which proved to be quite a bit of fun, for a while,
but then we grew bored and turned it off before the end. I was hesitant to re-visit this cephalopod
sequel all these years later, even though it has many things going for it that
the first one did not. Octopus 2 is
R-rated, has the same screenwriter as the first (fun fact: he also wrote Crocodile), and takes place in New York
City, opening up the possibilities for more action. But none of these things
gave me any hope. Turns out, Octopus 2
wasn’t as bad as I remembered it. Well, not quite as bad.
In the opening credits, there’s this odd little
acknowledgment: “Visual Effects by Shiny Mind.” What the hell is Shiny Mind?
Who calls their visual effects company that?! I looked it up but couldn’t find
anything. I’m sure they’ve since gone out of business, for good reason. Anyway,
two aquatic cops fail at a drug bust, and in their next mission, discover the
bodies of two tourists who met their deep-sea demise at the hands— I mean, tentacles—of a giant octopus, after
being attacked in the first scene. One of the cops is getting transferred to
another precinct, and he’s a fairly likeable character, despite constantly
pointing out things on the job he won’t miss once he gets transferred. The
other cop is just awful, both from an acting standpoint and the dull dialogue
that falls out of his mouth. But soon the awful cop finds out the octopus is
the killer terrorizing the harbour/river, and he must convince the mayor and
everyone else at the precinct he’s not just making it up.
I never expected Octopus
2: River of Fear to be better than the first Octopus, but to my surprise, this sequel improved in some of the
places where the first one faltered. The biggest highlights of all are the
action scenes. They are much more numerous than before, and the octopus makes
plenty of appearances, mostly as an animatronic/puppet, which is something that
really surprised me. There are lots of rubber tentacles flailing about that
make a bullwhip sound effect, and they even built a full-sized head and jaws
with teeth that actually move. Its glowing eyes reminded me of the squid-like
villain in Gamera vs. Viras. There
are a few moments of stock footage used and clips from the first Octopus inserted, but nothing too
shameful. The action is silly, cheesy, and fun, and I kept asking myself
throughout, “Is the cgi worse?” I can’t be sure. It’s at least as bad as
before, but used a lot less than the animatronics (which don’t look realistic,
either, but they’re miles ahead of the cgi. Thanks for nothing, Shiny Mind).
While the action is improved, the human side of things
seemed to suffer as a result. The cops are jerks—in one scene smashing a
vagabond’s belongings to get information out of him—but then, in what could
almost be called a twist, the cop getting the transfer is killed by the
octopus, which sucks, because the wrong cop died. I would’ve rather seen him as
the main character. Instead, we’re stuck with the more annoying cop for the
rest of the movie, and he’s joined by one of the mayor’s assistants, who is
equally annoying. While the characters/actors in the first Octopus were nothing great, I would have taken them over anyone in Octopus 2.
The following section of my review will consist of spoilers,
but since no one will probably care, I suggest you read on, because the first
thing I have to talk about is the legendary dream sequence. The main cop dreams
about the octopus attacking the statue of liberty on the fourth of July, and
there is a shot of the cop falling toward the camera, screaming and flailing,
with the octopus attacking the statue of liberty in the background, and it is
such a spectacularly awful looking shot, my friend and I had to pause the movie
and take a screenshot of it the first time we watched. There were so many tears
from laughing, I think I was dehydrated afterwards. I’ve included the
screenshot in this review. Trust me, if you watch the scene play out, I guarantee
you’ll laugh. While that scene comes out of nowhere as being the best in the
whole movie, early on, a potentially awesome ending is setup, which is
basically what was teased in the dream sequence. Of course, it doesn’t go down
like that, but what does go down is sort of baffling. The octopus is very
clearly blown up, and I don’t mean an explosion happens near it or around it, I
mean you see its body ripped to pieces, so it’s safe to believe that yes, it is
dead, and the movie is over. But no. The next ten minutes follow the cop trying
to save some kids trapped in the tunnel running under the river, which is about
to collapse. It feels like an alternate or extended ending. Then, after all the
kids are rescued, the octopus re-appears, totally alive. At this point I’m more
than a little puzzled. It’s blown up once again. They rejoice. Now it’s
actually the end. While not a remarkable killer animal movie by any means, this
ending is truly one of the oddest endings to a killer animal movie ever. It’s
way weirder than the abruptness of the first movie’s conclusion. 
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