ThanksKilling (2009) Review

ThanksKilling (2009) Review

Happy Halloween!

I always like to end Clayton’s Creepy Cinema with something special, and there’s no better movie for the Schlocktober marathon to end with than what we have here. I’ve been saving this particular movie for a while now, but it’s finally time to talk about one of the greatest low-budget horror-comedies of all-time. This is the one, the only, the legendary…ThanksKilling. 

Before I even begin the synopsis, I have to talk about the exquisite DVD cover.  

Top left corner: “Warning! Boobs in the first second!” Well, I’m instantly intrigued. 

Lower right corner: “Gobble, Gobble, Mother f#%@er!” This is a direct quote from the film. 

Bottom of the cover: “The ultimate low-budget experience | A killer turkey comedy/horror flick.” 

That’s boasting a lot, but having a look at the back cover and disc itself, which sport such zingers as “Unrated! ‘Cause we couldn’t afford a rating!” and “LOL at the damn movie already! ;)” (quoted exactly) it becomes clear these filmmakers, who completed this project on a tiny budget of $3500, are entirely self-aware, and know exactly what they’re doing. 

We begin in the woods at the first Thanksgiving in recorded history, with a slightly-out-of-focus close-up on a nipple (just like the cover promised) belonging to a busty pilgrim, played by porn star Wanda Lust, who is quickly dispatched by an evil, sentient turkey. Right before killing her with a tomahawk, he says “Nice tits, bitch!” In terms of opening scenes that set the tone, this surpasses even Poultrygeist in its efficiency and effectiveness. 

Fast forward to modern day, and some college kids are going on a camping trip for the Thanksgiving weekend. The killer turkey (known simply as “turkie”) is brought back by a dog pissing on a miniature totem pole, and he isn’t pleased about it, so goes on a killing spree. The human characters are all as cliché as they come—the jock, the slut, the loser, etc.—but Turkie is the real star, and makes frequent-enough appearances to keep things moving. To describe some of the things Turkie does is second-rate to seeing them play out. He shoots a guy with a shotgun, wears the face of the local sheriff Hannibal Lecter-style, and has sex with a woman while wearing a gravy-flavoured condom. 

The creativity here is staggering.  

ThanksKilling lacks the shock-value of something like Poultrygeist, but is entertaining in a similar I-can’t-believe-this-exists kind of way. The entire thing is meant to be a joke, and if you’re not already laughing at the DVD cover, it probably won’t be for you. It’s extremely cheap and dumb, but manages to find some unique ways to be funny, while simultaneously being laughable for being so low-budget. It’s not an easy one to define; it isn’t the kind of so-bad-it’s-good that results from the filmmakers taking a concept seriously and executing it poorly, nor is it so-bad-its-bad because they tried to make it bad and thus funny on purpose. ThanksKilling, ultimately, defies categorization, which might be the greatest praise I can give it.

I have a couple minor but legitimate complaints. The runtime is a measly 66 minutes, including beginning and end credits. It’s shorter than a standard feature-length motion picture, but then again, this movie is anything but standard, and I’m not sure if a longer runtime would have ruined the humour or not. With it being such a low-budget endeavor, it might seem unfair to pick on the cinematography and music as being of poor quality, but I’ve seen far lower-budgeted productions with significantly better quality picture and sound. Aside from that, though, I don’t think there’s much else to say that’s negative. 

Well, that about wraps up my review for ThanksKilling, which I shall nominate for several awards: best food-related horror flick, best low-budget horror-comedy, best holiday-related horror movie, and funniest/dumbest concept for a horror villain. And on that note, this concludes the Schlocktober marathon of Clayton’s Creepy Cinema! I hope you had an enjoyable October and that my reviews assisted in your enjoyment. Have a fun, safe, and schlock-filled Halloween everyone!